My Dating (Mis)Adventures: I’m With the Bartender
They say opposites attract, and there was a time in my not-so-distant past when I believed that to be true. I fell head over heels for a bartender in the city where I went to college, and it was awesome.
Really, for the most part, it was fantastic. But like any relationship, it suffered some unique challenges and most of those hiccups boiled down to his his free-wheeling line of work, and my strict schedule – the two simply didn’t mesh and things just ended up messy. It wasn’t personal, it simply wasn’t a good match.
Challenges to Dating a Bartender
The Flirting – Sitting at the bar, quietly sipping a drink while jamming down to the band you helped book has its perks.
Honestly, it feels like being the Queen of the World. Until some brave fellow comes along and offers to buy a you a drink.
accept the drink and let the guy think he has a chance, only to shoot him down when your sweetheart serves up the brews, or politely refuse the advances out of respect for your man?
It’s not a win-win. Accepting the drink may not result in a big tip for your boyfriend, and refusing the drink doesn’t guarantee that your man is going to supply free booze as appreciation for your loyalty.
Seriously, The Flirting – Bartenders make money based on charm and charisma, something the patrons eat up like candy. It’s not surprising then that customers, in turn, love to throw themselves at bartenders. Something about having a cleavage and a cute giggle makes the ladies think they can get stiffer drinks, or discounts, or something.
All I know is it takes a hell of a woman to sit by quietly while other chicks throw themselves at her man. Let me tell you something, I’m one heck of a woman, but I’m not that passive when it comes to other girls behaving badly in my presence.
A man can lose a lot of potential tips, and customers, when his girlfriend is sitting at the bar. This is a road that goes both directions, I know a lot of female bartenders that hate having their boyfriends stop in for drinks and a visit because it often ends up in a jealous tirade.
Photo Credit: stockimages
When One Bar Closes, Another Opens – There’s a code of conduct and respect that permeates the service industry, especially amongst bartenders. The job seems glamorous, but like any job it’s a lot of work for not a lot of pay. Because of this, bartenders like to go to after-hour bars when they get off work, and give away a percentage of their earnings to other bartenders as a sign of solidarity. I appreciate the community spirit, really, but this makes for a lot of late evenings if you happen to be part of a bartender’s entourage.
Some Of Us Have Day Jobs
Perhaps the biggest challenge to dating a bartender is having a steady 9-to-5 job. The difference in schedules and sleeping habits can weather the foundation of even the strongest of relationships.
Unless you’re a regular in the bar-hopping scene, it can be very difficult to maintain meaningful contact with a bartender, even if they work the day-shift.
But this is just my particular experience, I’d love to hear from others who have dated bartenders. What’s your advice for making it work, or why was it an epic fail?