Adventures in Online Dating: Sorting the Studs From the Duds
About a year ago I found myself single and utterly alone on the big island of Hawaii.
With all of my family on the mainland, and a very modest circle of friends scattered around the island, I found myself at a crossroads.
I could either sink into a black hole of depression, or I could embrace the experience of being single in paradise and new people.
I Don’t Want a Date, I Want a Playmate
There’s so much to do in Hawaii and I want to experience as much of it as possible. For me, half the fun of an adventure is sharing it with someone else.
I don’t need to be romantically involved with someone in order to enjoy their company, but not everyone in the online dating world shares my opinion or goals. That’s why it helps to know how to separate the studs from the duds early in the game. These tell-tale signs go for males and females alike.
Dud Warning Signs
- No clear or fuzzy pictures. Let me be clear – Fuzzy pictures, and images from several years ago simply don’t paint a clear picture of who you are as a person. A handful of random, outdated and blurry pictures, along with a vaguely worded profile doesn’t increase the chances of success in the shark tank known as online dating.
- Complete your profile. A half-hearted dating profile usually points to a cynicism that’s toxic to relationships. If you’re serious about wanting to meet someone compatible, take the creation of your profile seriously and don’t be afraid to hold potential dates to the same standards.
- Put some clothes on! – Sexy texters, cheap flings, and cam sluts are pretty easy to spot, on account of their obvious lack of clothes. Laptop selfies – you know the ones with the weird camera angles, creepy lighting, bare chest and desperate stares – speak a thousand words. Usually those words are, “I was touching myself when I wrote this.”
- True reflection of you. An online dating profile should give a decent idea of who you are as a person. Unless you spend the majority of your time in various stages of undress and self-pleasuring (an ideal life, to be sure!) you might want to include some pictures actually wearing clothes and doing stuff in public.
- Apply Filters, In Moderation. I’m just as picky as the next person, maybe more depending on the day and my mood. No apologies here, I just happen to know what I like. I also happen to know that I feel awkward dating someone considerably shorter than me. Filters for age, height, body type and traveling distance are great for finding an average array of dating hopefuls.
- But do not go overboard. I like to get more specific, however, with keywords pertaining to my interests and hobbies. Favorite movies, musicians, and video games are great ways to find someone with similar passions. Filters are fantastic for narrowing the field, but I wouldn’t recommend getting overly specific, otherwise you might pass over some real gems.
The Odds May Be Good, But the Good Ones Are Odd
Maybe it’s because I get along with just about anyone, but I’ve had more positive experiences with online dating compared to negative experiences. Of course, I’m also a realist when it comes to which conversations I’ll respond to and which ones I won’t.